Love Starts With You

To really, truly love who we are, we have to know ourselves. And I do not mean that frilly, all-types-of-only-goodness kind of love, either. I am talking about the raw emotion of love. The one that sees you in your darkest moments and wraps you in warmth – and the one that shows up when you are beaming with joy.

But we don’t just love ourselves, do we? We tend to feel good and talk self-love when things are going well or when we do something great, right? But when we find ourselves dealing with a bad decision or a weak moment, self-hate talk is what takes over.

We cannot love ourselves on a good day and hate ourselves on a bad one. That is not how this works.

To truly discover loving feelings again, it starts with ourselves; it starts with self-love. That means you will have to cultivate self-awareness to get to know who you are. After all, you can only love someone unconditionally if you know them deeply. Not to mention that having a strong sense of self-awareness also brings a greater amount of self-confidence which results in stronger communication, stronger relationships, and so on.

So, how do we cultivate self-awareness? Well, there is no quick fix to doing so. The best thing you can do for yourself is to spend time getting to know you. When you feel a certain way, react a certain way, or have a repetitive thought, take the time to address it. Try to determine why you feel the way you do – and do this without judgment.

You will have strengths and weaknesses. We all do. Just as you try to figure out the important people in your life or a new love interest, learn all about yourself. When you discover something you don’t like, approach it from a position of love and acceptance – no hate.

I will share a new way in which you can discover loving feelings again. Do not forget to check back each week! You will not want to miss it. Come on - who would not want to swell with love?

Today, let’s just say that the first step in feeling loving feelings again comes from knowing yourself – and the pain you’ve experienced – and working through it. Address it, journal it, talk about it with someone you trust. You cannot fill your heart with love when it is too crowded from all the pain.

Free yourself.

***** 

Discover the 3 Step Process to Stop Suffering from the DEVASTATING Effects of Grief and Trauma...and Make Peace With Your Past. Join my FREE upcoming masterclass and learn…

A 3 step process you can start TODAY...And this works no matter how long you’ve been suffering...even if you don’t think it’s possible, even if you don’t think you are ready to change and even if you’re thinking you are a lost cause and that you could never have a life of peace or experience real, deep joy in your life!

Sign-up NOW to reserve your seat!

Choose from 3 Dates and Times
(Replays available too!)

Wednesday, December 8th, 2021
Thursday, December 9th, 2021
Friday, December 10th, 2021

Register Here: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/KWF4-TraumaMasterclass-Dec21

© 2021 Janine Naus

Don’t Disown Yourself, Befriend Yourself!

When we experience trauma, we often feel fragmented as we try to disown our traumatic experiences, almost as if we are denying parts of ourselves. It is hard to feel whole when you feel fragmented. It is even harder to live a life of joy.

You may be saying to yourself, “I don’t know myself” or worse, “I don’t like myself.” And, there is a good chance that you won’t befriend someone you don’t know or don’t like. This makes a tough situation when befriending yourself is so important.

What’s really interesting is trauma survivors tend to be compassionate and caring of others but when it comes to self-compassion and offering ourselves the same kindness it’s nearly non-existent.

Surviving trauma is actually what created this dilemma for us. Maybe we adapted during the trauma to avoid self-compassion. Or, maybe we even self-judged or shamed ourselves before we were found lacking by our perpetrators. Many of us have likely built a belief that others deserve more or are worth more than ourselves.

Well, my friend, it is time to befriend yourself by building some emotional resilience. It’s time to learn how to adapt to any adverse experience – whether it is past, present, or future. When you develop your emotional awareness, you will find this helps you understand what you’re feeling and why. Committing to your healing only gets you started. What carries you through to the other side where a life of happiness and joy exists, is your determination and persistence to achieve your desires.

Now, what will it take to begin to turn that all around? Repressing emotions creates an internal struggle and takes you out of alignment. This is all part of denial. But, overcoming it allows you to stay true to yourself and will increase your personal power.

And, of course, you will find that joy again.

We are talking about making peace with our past – and that includes our trauma. 

See, trauma plays a huge role in who we are and what we want. If we continue to feel wounded by the loss, injustice, and regret that it has brought to us, we are actually depriving ourselves of feeling joy, bliss, peace, and love.

And each of us deserves all the good things that life has to offer.

To make peace with your past, you must figure out what you are denying yourself. And understand that we need to begin to unconditionally accept ourselves and build resilience. It is time to develop a relationship with our whole selves.

Befriend yourself by caring for your needs, regularly make time for yourself,
and focus on your inner world.

***** 

Sometimes having guidance along the way means a lot, right? Let’s work together on crushing denial and start experiencing joy with my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past. Now’s the time: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now

© 2021 Janine Naus

Your Ego, Your Friend

If you want to gain command of your ego, you need to reduce its power. This will help you see more clearly, feel more grounded and make better decisions that are more in alignment with your life goals.

The ego likes to control us. After all, it is designed to protect us. Because we still have unhealed parts of ourselves, we may find times when we become defensive and angry when someone criticizes us. Our ego can even make us feel isolated from others. It’s safe to say that suffering always comes when we are controlled by our ego.

Instead of letting it control us, perhaps we should take the time to befriend our ego. Its commandeering ways cause us strife, but perhaps if we are kind and friendly to it, it will relinquish its control.

Ok, this blog probably has you shaking your head, thinking I’ve gone mad. Maybe you are even asking yourself questions like: How can I possibly befriend my ego when it is so elusive? Why on earth would I want to befriend my ego when it keeps me so off balance by building me up one moment and tearing me down the next? Why would I want to befriend anyone like my ego?  Why would I want to befriend that angry voice in me that screams, “Why me?” when something bad happens?

Well, good news. I have some answers for you as to why you should befriend your ego. For instance, you simply cannot get rid of your ego. It will leave when it is ready – and not until you befriend it.

*****

Sometimes having guidance along the way means a lot. Learn how to successfully reduce the power of the Ego in my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past. Now’s the time: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now

© 2021 Janine Naus

Distractions Decrease Your Focus

Distractions seem to happen every day. In fact, take a moment to think about all the distractions in your life. If you are like most people, you could probably create an entire list.

By decreasing distractions, you can remain focused on your awareness – and connect more powerfully to your inner awareness. This is what mindfulness is all about. It has the power to create new neural pathways and weaken old ones – something very important for trauma survivors. The consistent practice of mindfulness can change the structure and function of your brain.

The more we allow distractions to take our focus, the more we hinder our success. For trauma survivors, this can be challenging and result in more suffering.

If you are trying to make peace with your past, it is important to pay attention and acknowledge these distractions. Then, you can work on shifting your focus from the distracting thoughts that will get in the way of your ability to befriend yourself.

Be nice and encouraging to yourself. Distractions can have a big impact on us. They can make us feel stuck and frustrated, unable to find joy and happiness. It’s important to steer your attention to where you truly want to be in life.

Remember that we are all a work in progress.  It is time to start befriending the parts of yourself you disowned a long time ago. So, show interest and curiosity to yourself. You are worth it.

To help decrease your recurring negative thoughts and stop suffering now, you should try to stop yourself from obsessive thinking, look around the room and focus on something to create physical relaxation, and focus on sensations within your body.

I’d love to hear of the ways you work to reduce the distractions in your life. Leave a comment below.

*****

Sometimes having guidance along the way means a lot. Let’s work together. Learn how to kick those distractions to the curb in my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past. Now’s the time: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now

© 2021 Janine Naus

Be Your Own Best Friend

To come home to yourself, you must cultivate self-awareness through a deep sense of being a friend to yourself. That is, you need to befriend yourself.

Though, if you are a trauma survivor, befriending yourself may not be so easy. In fact, it can be downright challenging. And, that’s ok. As you begin your healing journey, you will come to a point when it is necessary to reconnect with yourself, both body and mind.

It may seem impossible now, but learning to be mindful can really help with this. For instance, engaging in compassion-centered meditation a few times per week, accepting praise and compliments from yourself - and others, as well as practicing daily gratitude by writing down things you are thankful for. Simply put, being mindful is when we are aware and in control of our own experience in all aspects of life. In other words, when we are cultivating self-awareness.

So, what does it look like if we are living a life that is not being mindful? This is when powerless feelings surface that makes it difficult to take responsibility or feel empowered. For example, speaking without thinking, allowing emotions to get out of control, worrying about the future or regretting the past, and feeling like a victim of our circumstances.

Do you ever feel this way? Personally, I used to struggle with some of these things. At the time, I did not realize that it was up to me to make the change I wanted in life. Once I befriended myself, I felt really empowered to take control.

“Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience.”

— Jon Kabat-Zinn

When you are ready to begin cultivating self-awareness in your own life, I have tools and strategies that you can learn and implement. Together, we can shift your mindset so that you may go deep in cultivating self-awareness. Although, this will require you to practice radical acceptance and be alive to the present moment.

One of the biggest difficulties to achieving happiness and contentment in life is a lack of self-awareness. Without knowing ourselves, we may not even understand our emotions, actions, and why we act the way we do. As a result, our pain and suffering elevate.

You are not alone. I can be with you every step of the way as we walk through my Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past program. You will gain insight, tools, and support that will help you tremendously along the way. Plus, you will learn the power that comes with befriending yourself. But, it all starts right here with cultivating self-awareness.

If you aren’t sure where to start, I have put together a simple 3-step exercise to help you learn to befriend yourself, cultivate self-awareness, and make peace with your past. So, grab yourself a pen and some paper - and let’s get started!

Step 1: Bring your focus and attention to yourself. Close your eyes, breathe in deeply through your nose and sigh it out during your out-breath. Relax into your body and simply notice what you notice. How does your body feel? Scan your body as you practice breathing deeply.

Step 2: When you feel settled ask yourself, “What is it you truly want in life?” Sit with yourself, do not judge your thoughts. Simply be open to everything that comes up. Once you have a good idea, open your eyes and jot down what your inner wisdom shared with you.

Step 3: Now that you know what it is you want, ask yourself, “What is my true purpose in life?” Now, repeat step 1 and when you have clarity, open your eyes and jot down what came up for you.

You’re simply noticing. This is a form of self-awareness.

See, you really can do this! Give yourself a pat on the back – and keep moving forward.

*****

Are you ready to start making peace with your past? Let’s work on it together. Sometimes having guidance along the way means a lot. If you are ready to cultivate self-awareness every day of your life, that is the first thing that we do in my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past. Now’s the time: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now

© 2021 Janine Naus

The Importance of Being Present

Nobody wants to be stuck in the past, do they? It just happens. But there is something to be said about living in the moment – this moment. Being present can bring the greatest sense of peace to your life. 

When you understand that you cannot change the past or the future and that you only have this very moment, you will be motivated to stay in the present. This awareness will bring calm and peace to your life.

Easier said than done? We’ll see. 

When you learn how to be present, you will learn how to bring calm and peace in your life. Maintain your present awareness and you will find that you are able to have more of what you desire in your life. 

So, being present has sort of become a cliché. Who cares? It works – and it is important you're your healing. We are often told to be present. But, not very many people tell us how the heck we are supposed to do that, right? 

Well, it's all about being in the NOW at that moment. It's about your mind being in the moment and also being aware of where your body is right now. Let's say, for example, that you are having lunch with a dear friend. Physically, your body is sitting there on a chair with a table between you and your friend. You’re now is sitting on a chair. When you smell the coffee and listen to the chatter around you – and the conversation with your friend – you are in this moment. Overall, being present is sitting there and feeling the experience and not wishing you were someplace else or that that conversation was over. Being present means you appreciate the conversation with your friend, you are truly listening, and do not find yourself focusing on other things you need or should be doing in your life. 

That's being present. 

So being present is about having your mind completely engaged while appreciating wherever your body is. It is not trying to think about what you'd like to do next. 

Now for those of us who experienced trauma, we may have experienced severe violations of our safety and trust. This leads to the potential for having a difficult time figuring out how to carry our negative history into the present moment without it impacting our feelings and behavior. Because humans are wired to shut down neural functions of the fight, flee or freeze in order to survive, it may result in addictive or self-harming behaviors designed to numb or banish those distressing thoughts that come up. 

Sound like you?

Reduce the power of your ego and find yourself in the present moment. Here’s how you can do that. 

Focus on the Out-Breath. Close your mouth and take a deep breath in through your nose. It's important to know that when you breathe in through your mouth it creates a slight anxiety response and that increases your heart rate and redirects your blood flow. If you release your breath through your nose it has the opposite effect and relaxes you. Notice what happens when you take a breath in and exhale. What happens? Nothing. This technique comes from the Theravada Buddhist tradition. When you practice this mouth-breathing technique you'll find everything falls away with that out-breath and nothing happens.

*****

We can learn from each other. What will you do every day as part of your healing process to be present? Practice focusing on the Out-Breath and let me know how this practice helps you.

Share your thoughts with us. Leave a comment below!

If you are ready to live life in the present moment, then I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now

© 2021 Janine Naus

How to Learn to Trust Yourself Again

You are the one constant that you will always have. You need to be able to trust yourself, don’t you? But how? When you feel broken and weak, you may find it difficult to trust yourself in the decisions you have to make in life. 

This is where your intuition comes in. You’ve likely heard of it before, right? As you strengthen it, you will learn to trust yourself. This, in turn, will help you make faster and better decisions in all aspects of your life.

You have to start by strengthening your intuition. 

Without strengthening your intuition, you will not be able to fully be yourself and be fully alive to use all of your talents and gifts. In other words, you won’t be able to live each day knowing that your life has purpose and meaning. And don’t you want to be living your life with purpose and meaning? 

Strengthening your intuition means you just know certain things at a deeper, cellular level. You feel them. Some people actually refer to this as your gut feeling. It's how you connect to higher levels of your consciousness which will then help you make decisions that best suit your needs and your life. 

Is it hard for you to make decisions? Whether they are big or small decisions…do you find yourself struggling to find the right answer? Are you constantly worried that you will make the wrong decision?  

You have a powerful and incredible resource within yourself that you can learn to tap into – your intuition. And when you know how to tap into it, you will always have the right answer for you - available when you need it.  

Want to learn how you can tap into this awesome inner voice of yours? Here’s a tip. See, your intuition generally comes to you in soft subtle ways. For example, you may get visual messages such as a flash or slow-motion movie. It may speak to you in the form of hunches, thoughts or words. You may respond in the form of self-dialogue. Your intuition may come via physical sensations such as goosebumps or a gut feeling. You may experience your intuition through your emotions when you may feel uneasiness if your intuition is steering you away from something or euphoria and peace when you're being steered in the right direction. You may even have that sense of knowing and certainty this is the right thing for you.

The more you begin opening yourself up to recognizing your intuition, the easier it will be to follow. Are there ways you have noticed your intuition daily? Have you begun strengthening your intuition as part of your healing process?

*****

We can learn from each other. In what ways do you recognize your intuition? How have you worked to strengthen it? Share your thoughts with us. Leave a comment below!

If you are ready to strengthen your intuition and begin healing, then I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now

© 2020 Janine Naus

The Power of Self-Empowerment

Increasing feelings of self-empowerment is important in helping you take full responsibility for your life, which will help you feel more in control of your life.

You may feel as though self-empowerment would be wonderful to obtain. And, at the same time, you may be wondering just how you get it. And, truth be told, it all can start by creating an intention. 

Creating an intention is an excellent way to increase feelings of self-empowerment. See, here’s what happens when you do – it puts the wheels in motion and it helps you to have opportunities and possibilities so that you can accomplish all that you desire. Your journey is a journey of allowing. You’re allowing yourself to live a fuller, happier life. So, throughout the journey to creating heaven in your life remember, you have the power to achieve it – it is in your hands.

A good exercise for you is to take some time quietly to think about the answers to a few important questions regarding your self-empowerment. For instance…

• What do you desire?  

• What do you want for your life? 

• What is your end goal? 

These are questions of awareness we must ask ourselves to understand our true desires. After all, you cannot be empowered if you don’t know your intention, right? Keep this in mind. Of course, another problem is that so many of us that have gone through traumatic events. As a result, we tend to focus way more on what we don’t want rather than what we do what. 

Think of these powerful intentions as roadside signposts. They bring new experiences to you as you take your dreams, visions, and desires and make them a part of your reality. When you write down your intentions it informs your mind you are going to make something happen.

You get to see your intention reflected back at you. This reflection creates a shift and a sense of knowing that you’re creating a future reality that expands to something more than the one you are in now. And that is not only exciting for you it also creates a whole new level of experiences for you. Remember, we are here on this earth to create, to experience and to love. You will get a new set of experiences, people and opportunities that come your way as a result of setting your intentions.

Now it is your turn to make a choice of what you will do every day to help heal and increase your feelings of self-empowerment. Remember, find your answers to these questions: What do you desire?  What do you want for your life? What is your end goal? 

*****

We can learn from each other. Do you have some ideas of what you can do every day to increase self-empowerment? Leave a comment below!

If you are ready to increase feelings of self-empowerment every day of your life, then I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

If you haven't registered for the Breaking the Silence Summit: Healing Childhood Sexual Trauma - I'd like to give you the link to sign-up for FREE today! You can sign-up after today…but you don’t want to miss a day watching these amazing speakers during this summit!

It starts tomorrow - April 27th - May 1st, 2020  - Get 5 Free Days of the summit!!!

Here's the link to sign-up for Breaking the Silence Summit for FREE!      

If you want to know how to heal from childhood sexual trauma (in fact all forms of trauma), you'll love my summit.  The summit is chock full of strategies, inspirational and transformational stories that will help you heal from trauma.  There's a wide range of topics presented by internationally recognized experts, bestselling authors, doctors, leaders and experts who will help teach you how you can find inner peace and live a cherished, love-filled life.

https://www.breakingsilencesummit.com/BTSSHomePage    

Know any other family members or friends who would also love to sign-up for this summit for free?  Give them this link!

https://www.breakingsilencesummit.com/BTSSHomePage  

I’m so glad you are reading my blog and I’m looking forward to helping you heal from trauma.  I’m a Certified Grief and Trauma Relief Specialist and I support people who are in grief due to trauma so that they can stop suffering and be able to more easily navigate their healing process. I’m a certified Calm, Accepting, Resilient & Empathetic (CARE) trauma practitioner and a #1 International Best-Selling Author. I’m the Creator of the Stop Suffering Now System, which focuses on the foundational strategies needed to move past grief and trauma - that’s my singular focus…supporting women in moving past that “stuck” place. And my message is one of hope. That there is a way out to the other side. 

—————————————————-

I’m also going to be a published author and I’m giving you the book as a gift!  That’s right!  I’m sending you the book for FREE as soon as it’s available on Amazon!  I’ve been chosen to be the featured expert on moving past trauma in the best selling series “‘The One Thing Every Mom Needs to Know’ - Volume 2 and as a thank you for being here reading my blog. I’m sending it to you for FREE when it launches on May 10, 2020!

Click here to get on the waitlist: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/TOTMomVolume2  

And if you know any other moms who would like to overcome trauma, I’d be happy to get them a copy too!  Just give them this link so they can sign up!

Send your family and friends this link: 

https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/TOTMomVolume2  

© 2020 Janine Naus

Stop Suffering Now – And Let Your Denial Go

Denial stops you from having joy because repressing emotions creates an internal struggle that takes you out of alignment. But, when you overcome your denial, you stay true to yourself and increase your personal power.

Personally, I used to struggle a lot. In fact, my pain and suffering felt relentless - especially when I heard others tell me to let it go or ask me questions like, Why can’t you just get over it? I felt crushed inside. They didn’t realize how it minimized all the pain I was feeling and how hurtful it felt. Most people are just trying to be helpful. Maybe they just don’t know what to say so they just fumble through, trying to make you feel better.  Regardless of the intention, it can sting just the same. Hurt is one of the emotions we feel when someone we hoped could understand - just doesn’t.  They just don’t get it. 

These types of dismissive statements can be a trigger to someone who has experienced trauma. 

I think it’s important to understand why you may be reacting in this overdetermined way. And why you find it so difficult to be on the receiving end of these types of statements.  First, you need to know that it is not you. You are not at fault for why these comments affect you. It’s your trauma. 

Our fight or flight instinct kicks in immediately when we hear such statements because the trauma we may have experienced has set that dynamic in motion. Even long after the trauma, we can still experience this fight or flight instinct when we hear these kinds of triggers if we have not learned how to soothe ourselves.

Here’s a tip I want you to do to overcome denial and begin to stop suffering now.

Let It Go and Allow 

If you let go and allow the results of something you planned it is called surrendering. Often life does not go according to our plans. If we cling to the outcome of our plans, we send a message to the Universe that we are not worthy. Clinging to the outcome is actually a form of resistance. As psychologist Carl Jung contended, “what you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” 

So if you are placing all of your energy into something you are planning - do you let go and allow? After recognizing the ways in which you are denying yourself and are willing to work through the issues, you can learn how to let it go and allow positivity in. It's important to let go and allow the flow to do its work. 

Are you wondering how can you do that? You let go and allow by setting an intention - and that has everything to do with surrendering. Why? Because once you set an intention, you surrender the outcome of what it is you intend.

What intention can you set for yourself and then let go and allow so you can stop suffering and overcome denial? (Example, I intend to notice how I am feeling in the moment) 

*****

We can learn from each other. How have you chosen to find joy and overcome denial? Leave a comment below!

If you are ready to overcome denial and stop suffering now, then I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now

Other announcements:

Social distancing and stay at home orders are protecting us from the spread of the Corona virus...but for those of us who experienced or continue to experience trauma (physical, sexual, emotional abuse, and catastrophic event) this can be a difficult time for us. 

Are you feeling anxious or worried? Is sheltering in bringing up difficult feelings? Collectively we all may be feeling a bit heavy these days. We are experiencing the deep impact of this global COVID-19 pandemic in ways we could have never imagine – and that may be bringing up a lot of emotions.

So I have two free events and my free private and safe Bridge to Healing Community on Facebook:

1. For the coming week…April 6, 2020 through April 10, 2020 at 12:00pm NOON Eastern:

   Free Mini Midday Conscious Healing and Connection Tools!

   Are you feeling a little cooped up? Feeling alone?

   A bit isolated? Need an uplifting break?

   Come join me at 12:00 pm NOON easterner everyday April 8 - 10, 2020 for a midday or mid-wherever you are break
   to learn a different strategy each day to help you get relief from difficult emotions.
   I’ll be sharing valuable strategies and inspired action tips that you can start implementing in your life right away to stay positive, focus on your goals, and create your desired experience – no matter what is happening in the world around you! You'll learn Emotional Freedom Technique, Visualization Exercises, How to Reframe Your Thoughts, and more!
   
   Click here to join and find more peace, happiness and joy:
   https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/MiniMiddayConsciousHealingConnectionCall

   I'll even gift you my 10-Page workbook called Discover Secrets to Your True Nature and Inspired Actions From Your Heart and Not Your Hurt
   

2. Join my free Bridge to Healing community for women. Bridge to Healing Community is a private community where you can interact and communicate with others who have had similar trauma experiences. Here you can learn how to end the suffering and be in harmony with yourself. We offer lots of supportive resources that can help you begin to move forward so you can start to heal from your past trauma.
   
   We are a community that inspires and encourages its members on their healing journey while practicing mindfulness. We are compassionate and loving to each other within this community.
   
   My primary goal is to give you grief and trauma relief. I want to ease your suffering by providing a solid foundation of emotional resilience. And by ensuring you feel you are in a supportive community, you will be better equipped to help you cope with the stress and anxiety trauma can bring.
   
   Click here to join the private and safe Bridge to Healing Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/bridgetohealing/
   

3. Free Bridge to Healing Community Group Vent and Support Calls for Women. Join me every Friday at 8pm Eastern now through May 29, 2020 at 8:00pm Eastern. You can come into my Zoom room. It’s a free support group call. You can join me by clicking the link below or join me in our safe and supportive Bridge to Healing Community on Facebook and get the Zoom link there under a similar post.
   
   Click here to join weekly calls: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/FREEWeeklySupportThru052920

© 2020 Janine Naus

Overcome Denial and Find Joy

Denial. Such an ugly word, but so common in our lives. And so hard to get rid of, too. It robs us of joy and happiness and leaves us feeling stuck. 

If you have ever dealt with the strongholds of denial, then it is time to overcome it – and encounter delight in our everyday lives. 

Denial stops us from having joy because the emotion that we repress creates an internal struggle that takes us out of alignment. Overcoming your denial will allow you to stay true to yourself while increasing your sense of personal empowerment. 

Denial has been known to stick around for a long time – days, weeks, years, even decades. And living this way, day in and day out does nothing but feed the monster. But, not anymore. It is time to take back control over your life that has always belonged to you. 

Think you have not healed for no reason? No way. It is the denial monster. It is stopping you from healing – and from having joy. 

Here’s a fact for you…

Living in denial won’t allow you to experience any healing because your lack of expanded awareness won’t allow yourself to tell the truth. And, to clarify, when we talk about truth, we are specifically referring to the truth that you tell yourself - and the truth you might choose to tell others.

When you are in denial, your thoughts move out of your conscious mind (where you can accept or reject data) and move straight into your subconscious mind (which only accepts data). So, when you are ready to begin moving away from denial, you must begin having a conversation with yourself. You know, ask yourself some questions. Quiz yourself, so-to-speak. 

Why don’t you take some time to look inward by asking yourself some questions to help you recognize any denial or resistance? Once you start, you will begin to recognize these feelings because your ego is in there telling your stories and playing tricks with you. In fact – your ego may even trick you!

Be careful. 

Be gentle. 

I want you to be very careful with yourself and be very gentle with yourself as you ask yourself these questions. Write a word situation generally in place of the event or occurrence you are asking yourself questions about. Please note the feeling itself will change and be different every time.

Not sure what questions to ask yourself to help you recognize any denial? Use questions such as, Why am I feeling [nervous/angry/betrayed/frustrated] right now? 

Overcoming denial is a daily exercise. Is there something that you intend to do every day as part of your healing process that will help you overcome your denial? 

*****

We can learn from each other. Share your ideas for overcoming denial with us. Leave a comment below!

If you are ready to overcome denial and begin healing, then I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now.

© 2020 Janine Naus

How to Handle Your Ego in a Healthy Way

When you reduce the power of your ego, this will help you become aware that you’re grounded in the truth. And, that who you really are is an expression of pure consciousness. 

When you are suffering from trauma, your ego plays tricks on you – and the feelings that come as a result can be very overwhelming and difficult to deal with.  One way to handle your ego in a healthy way can be working on forgiveness. And, to help you get started, I have to give you a quick strategy that will help you in your forgiveness process. See, for many, it’s easier to forgive themselves than others. And, for others, it’s easier to forgive other people than themselves. But, for EVERYBODY, forgiveness will be challenging. 

Many trauma survivors not only carry the memory of their experiences but also have the belief that it was somehow their own fault. It’s important for you to know that it was not your fault and forgiving yourself is essential to your healing.  

Want to know how to differentiate between your voice of ego and the actual situation?

Awareness is the key. 

Recognizing that your thoughts and their associated dysfunctional emotional responses can cause you more harm than good is a great way to reduce the power of the ego. Let’s look at an example. 

The situation: You are standing in a long, slow-moving checkout line at the store. 

What your mind is telling you: “This is a waste of your time.” 

Your feeling (response): Irritation and aggravation.

Now, let’s see what would happen if you shift your thoughts. You know, if you regain some control. Notice that the actual situation remains the same. 

The situation: You are standing in a long, slow-moving checkout line at the store. 

What your mind is telling you: "This is what it is. I cannot change this. So, I am going to take a deep breath and take a look around for something I may enjoy. Maybe there's a cute baby behind me or an interesting article in that magazine in the stand next to me." 

Your feeling (response): Patience, kindness, intrigue with the surroundings, etc. 

*****

We can learn from each other. Can you name a situation where you could have responded differently? How would it have changed the outcome? Share your thoughts with us. Leave a comment below!

If you are ready to regain control of your thoughts by reducing your ego’s power, then I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now.

© 2020 Janine Naus

Take Back Your Ego’s Control

When you reduce the power of your ego, you begin to live more in the present moment. Your limits fade when the fear of failure fades. Can you see that? The power of your ego is so strong that if you don’t get control of it, you can feel lost, desperate and confused. If you skip this step in the healing process, you will not break free from the belief that you are nothing more than the sum of your past experiences, stories, successes, and failures. And I want you to know absolutely, that you are so much more than that.  

If you reduce your ego, you will be able to forgive and let go of hurt feelings. You will find that you can be open and honest with yourself and others. You will be able to surrender your need for control or attachment for a specific outcome... 

It is important to learn to let go of your ego. Although it should be noted that letting go of your ego may be simple in concept, it can be difficult to do. 

Taking back your ego’s power will help you become aware that you’re grounded in the truth and that who you really are is an expression of pure consciousness. When you reduce the power of your ego you discard the toxic armor between you and your true self. See, the ego is often associated with the overinflated and self-focused aspects of pride and vanity. For trauma survivors, ego increases in power with feelings of inadequacy and inferiority and appears as a lack of self-worth, shame, and self-hatred. We may have accepted as truth the less-than-optimal words we've been telling ourselves or hearing from others. Without realizing it we've used our ego as a protective shield from ourselves and others. We created a sense of separation from ourselves and the world around us.

We have lost control. 

If we spend our days complaining, whether it is through thoughts or words, ego gains its power. Ego takes hold of you through our complaints of ourselves, others, and experiences. What happens is you no longer have your own thoughts. Instead, your thoughts begin to have power over you. 

To free yourself from this power you need to understand all those thoughts are created by the voice within you. What you feel after that voice has spoken is your own response to it. So, to reduce the power of your ego and stop that voice from dictating your reality, you need to get practicing. 

Observe Your Thoughts. Take time each day to observe the thoughts you think and note those thoughts that are habitual and negative. Jot down, without judgment, any negative thoughts you may have such as anger, irritation, impatience, and sadness. You are simply noticing and observing those thoughts. You can jot down some of those habitual thoughts in the lines below.

*****

We can learn from each other. What will you do every day as part of your healing process to reduce the power of your ego? What negative thoughts do you notice? 

Share your thoughts with us. Leave a comment below!

If you are ready to regain control of your thoughts by reducing your ego’s power, then I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now.

© 2020 Janine Naus

Is Work Your Go To Distraction?

When you decrease distractions, it helps you stay focused on your awareness so you can more powerfully connect to your inner awareness.

Does this sound familiar? Do you tend to overwork or have a work addiction? I did. I used to work 80-plus hours each week. Before I knew it, more work kept piling up on my desk. I remember being totally exhausted and wondering - how on earth am I going to get through all of this work? 

What I know now that I didn’t know then…

Two different research studies determined that individuals who experienced trauma were prone to workaholic behaviors. These are a 2013 study of trauma survivors of childhood sexual abuse and a 2015 study of women survivors of intimate partner violence.

Could this explain why I was working so much? 

I felt like I was simply existing. And, as far as the pain and suffering that I felt inside, I used work to distract me from it. It wasn’t until I began my transformation and took steps toward beyond simply existing that I found ways to decrease distractions in my life. And yes, that meant cutting back on the hours I worked. 

What kind of distractions do you believe may keep you from beginning your transformation and stop suffering now? 

*****

Let’s learn from each other. What are some small steps you will take to reduce the level of distractions in your life? Leave a comment below!

If you are ready to decrease the distractions found in your everyday life, then I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now.

© 2020 Janine Naus

To Gain Peace, You Must Decrease Distractions

If you want to be more powerfully connected to your inner awareness, you are going to have to learn how to decrease your distractions in life. 

Of course, to decrease your distractions, you have to increase your awareness of them, right? 

Expanding your awareness about the distractions in your life is simply being conscious of what you do, what you experience, how you react, and what that reaction means to show you. Can you see how this step from my program will help you open your mind and expand your awareness?

We encounter distractions every day. Life is full of them. And, in the midst of a distraction, we are tempted to lose focus. For trauma survivors these challenges that arise with distractions can be amplified. 

It is important to pay attention and shift from distracting thoughts or actual distractions – whether good or bad – that will get in the way of our connectedness to our higher power, whatever or whoever that is for you. 

Distractions can have a big impact on us. They can make us feel stuck. They can keep us frustrated. And, they can even steal our joy and our happiness. But, did you know that these distractions can sometimes appear without us knowing? That’s right – they can be so subtle and/or we can be so used to them showing up in our life that we don’t recognize them for the obstacle that they are. 

What happens at the end of a day that has been particularly filled with distractions? 

As we are getting ready to relax and close out another day, we think back about the distractions that we faced for the day – and we begin to judge ourselves and beat ourselves up for being so easily distracted. 

I don’t want that for you as that is no way to have a joyful life. I want you to notice, but be gentle with yourself. Remember that we are all a work in progress – and that’s what we’re doing here together.  We are taking the steps we need to move forward.  

As you grow and become much more aware of when you are becoming distracted, you will stop beating yourself and start addressing the distraction. By taking small steps, we can begin to avoid distractions that derail our well-intentioned plans to move forward in life.

What small step can you take to decrease distractions and make peace with your past? (for example, if you’ve become sidetracked, simply pause to notice it and come back to your focus)

*****

We can learn from each other. What are some small steps you will take to reduce the level of distractions in your life? Leave a comment below!

If you are ready to decrease the distractions found in your everyday life, then I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now.

© 2020 Janine Naus

Feeling Distracted? You Can Stop Suffering Now!

When you decrease distractions, it helps you stay focused on your awareness so you can more powerfully connect to your inner awareness.

Expanding your awareness about distractions in your life is simply being conscious of what you do, what you experience, how you react, and what that reaction means to show you. Can you see how this step from my program will help you open your mind and expand your awareness?

Life is full of distractions. We all face challenges in our day-to-day life where we are tempted to lose focus and things come up that delay or hinder our success. For trauma survivors, these challenges are multiplied, leading to even more suffering. It is important to pay attention and shift from distracting thoughts. Otherwise these distractions – whether good or bad - will get in the way of our connectedness to our higher power, whatever or whoever that is for you.

Distractions can make us feel stuck, frustrated and unable to find joy and happiness. And sometimes these distractions can trip us up without us even noticing. Did you know that they can be so subtle and we can be so used to them showing up in our life that we don’t recognize them for the obstacle that they are? And then sometimes, when we finally have a moment to think at the end of the day, we often find that we start to judge ourselves and beat ourselves up over being so easily distracted.  

I don’t want this for you.  

I want you to notice your distractions, but be gentle with yourself, remembering that we are all a work in progress.  That’s what we’re doing here together.  We are taking the steps we need to move forward. As you become much more aware of when you are becoming distracted, you can – in the moment – address the distraction.  You can say to yourself something funny like, “Very sneaky the way you were trying to get me to watch TV instead of write in my journal, but I’m onto you!  I’m going to turn off the TV and turn my attention back to my journal which I committed to writing in.” 

Can you see that by taking these small steps we can begin to avoid distractions that derail our well-intentioned plans to move forward in life?

What small step can you taking to decrease distractions and stop suffering now? 

*****

We can learn from each other. What are some small steps you will take to reduce the level of distractions in your life? Leave a comment below!

If you are ready to decrease the distractions found every day of your life, then I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now.

© 2020 Janine Naus

Ready to Decrease the Distractions Found Every Day of Your Life?

This about the last time you tried to carry on an important conversation while listening to a TV blaring, dogs barking, and a toddler pulling on your leg. Distractions are disruptive. And, they can disturb your ability to connect to your inner awareness. 

When you decrease distractions, you are much more capable of staying focused on your awareness. Then, as a result, you can more powerfully connect to your inner awareness.

“Be aware when distractions come your way. 

You’ll know it’s a distraction when you stop doing what you’re supposed to be doing and find yourself pondering things that have no value.”

~Beverly R. Imes

It’s important to decrease distractions so you can more powerfully focus on and connect to your inner awareness. We all know life is full of distractions. How do distractions show up in your life? What goals of yours are challenged by temptations? What gets in your way and blocks your success? Expanding your awareness is simply being conscious of what you do, what you experience, how you react, and what that reaction means to show you. Decreasing Distractions will help you stay focused on your inner awareness because, by nature, distractions are what blocks you from your connection to inner awareness. 

We all know life is full of distractions. Distractions are what blocks you from your connection to inner awareness. Becoming aware of our distractions is key to being able to decrease them. How do distractions show up in your life?

One thing you can do to move you forward with this is to start becoming aware of what is distracting you  - and when.  Keep a journal and write down times throughout your day when you catch yourself using distraction as a way to lose your deep focus that is essential to your success. The more you journal about your distractions throughout the day, the more you will be aware of them. This is a great – and healthy - habit to find to form.

So, now, if I were to ask you what you plan to do in your own life to decrease distractions, what would you tell me? What are the distractions that you notice? Which ones distract you from your healing process? 

In order to grow and heal, you need to look inward and find the answers to these questions. Then, work to remove the distractions. 

*****

We can learn from each other. Do you have some ideas of what you can do every day to reduce the level of distractions you face? Leave a comment below!

If you are ready to decrease the distractions found every day of your life, then I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now.

© 2020 Janine Naus

Begin Your Transformation

You’ve come a long way by this point. In the Begin Your Transformation portion, a follow-up to my 3-month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past program, you will learn to go beyond simply existing. But, this is not easy. It is going to require more strategies and taking a deeper dive into integrating these strategies into your day to day life. 

We’re going to wrap up our time together by bringing together all we’ve learned so that you can feel safe and confident knowing you are so much more than what happened. You’ll discover how to trust in the flow of life rather than trying to control it, be able to look at life through a lens of possibilities and opportunities instead of a filter of obstacles and limitations. And, begin to intentionally design your long-term vision for your bright new future. And this means choosing a path for your NEW journey, and identifying those steps so that you can set new goals for your bright new future. Begin Your Transformation will explore 4 essential pillars, Beyond Simply Existing, Choose to Be a Thriver, Set New Thriver Vision and Goals and Implementation. 

Begin Your Transformation: Cultivate Self-Awareness

Knowing yourself is important. I am referring to that deep, inner knowledge of who you are. And to gain this information, you need to cultivate self-awareness. This helps you learn of your character, feelings, motives and desires. It is also a state of being present with your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Cultivating self-awareness helps bring clarity to your internal state – and it’s required in order to live a happy and joyful life.

When you begin your transformation, it is all about getting beyond simply existing. This is going to require more strategies and taking a deeper dive into integrating these strategies into your day-to-day so that you can get unstuck, be able to stay in the moment, increase your feelings of self-empowerment, and live an aligned life based on your values and principals.

Beginning your transformation means that you learn information, strategies and tools that help you feel safe and confident knowing you are so much more than what happened. You’ll discover how to trust in the flow of life rather than trying to control it, be able to look at life through a lens of possibilities and opportunities instead of a filter of obstacles and limitations and begin to intentionally design your long-term vision for your bright new future. And this means choosing a path for your NEW journey, and identifying those steps so that you can set new goals for your bright new future. 

What would beginning your transformation mean to you? What would it look like? 

*****

Let’s learn from each other. What other tools do you know for cultivating self-awareness? Share in the comments below!

If you are ready to begin your transformation, it starts with cultivating self-awareness. I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now.

© 2020 Janine Naus

Make Peace With Your Past

Before you can do anything else on your journey to making peace with your past, you need to know yourself.  

When it comes to cultivating self-awareness, it means there is a conscious knowledge of your character, feelings, motives and desires. It is all about knowing yourself, especially on the inside. With all the clarity it can bring, it is important to be self-aware if you want to live a happy and joyful life.

The Make Peace With Your Past portion of my 3-month program takes you from a place of becoming aware to taking action. 

Are you ready for it? 

We have 4 pillars: Awareness, Acceptance, Forgiveness and Implementation. Remember, it is all about taking action – positive, forward movement. I’ve got the tools and strategies you will need so that you can implement what you learn right away. 

In Making Peace with Your Past, we go deep into cultivating self-awareness. And throughout the program, you will learn about shifting your mindset in order to grow and heal. For instance, you will learn about forgiveness and forgiving yourself and others. And, we will work on acceptance of yourself and others. We will touch on some tough topics of shame, empathy, compassion – and all similar emotions. 

The most beautiful part is that you will get the tools, tips, strategies, and support that you need so much to get through the healing process. And, you will, of course, find the safe space you need to process everything. You won’t be doing this alone – I will be with you every step of the way. 

Together, you will find yourself – and your awareness- and will be ready to make peace with your past. 

Face it - we all believe we know more about ourselves than we actually do. This is why it is so important that you take steps to cultivate self-awareness. Here’s a great 3-Step Sensing Your Breath tool to help bring awareness in your life and make peace with your past.

Our brain's ability to shift our attention inward doesn’t necessarily come naturally. When we focus on our breathing, we tap into our ability to turn our attention inward and that empowers us, helping us heal. Here’s how to do it: 

Step 1: Begin to breath in and out naturally. Pay attention to your breath without trying to change it. Simply breathe in and out.

Step 2: As you become focused on your breath, bring awareness to what you’re sensing. What do you feel?

Step 3: Now bring your awareness to your mind. What thoughts and emotions are coming up? Try to avoid judging whatever is coming up.

You’re simply noticing. This is a form of self-awareness.

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Let’s learn from each other. What other tools do you know for cultivating self-awareness? Share in the comments below!

If you are ready to make peace with your past, it starts with cultivating self-awareness. I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now.

© 2020 Janine Naus

Stop Suffering Now

Before you can truly know yourself, you need to know what it means to cultivate self-awareness.

Cultivating self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of your character, feelings, motives, and desires. It’s your self-knowledge or introspection. It is a state of being present with your thoughts, feelings and emotions. It helps you bring clarity to your internal state.  It’s important to be self-aware in order to live a happy and joyful life.

Sounds pretty important, doesn’t it?  

In the Stop Suffering Now portion of my 3-month program we will explore 4 essential pillars, aka The Four I’s: Insight, Impact, Intuition and Implementation.  Once you have the insight, you're going to know how to become aware and how to expand your awareness. This awareness allows you to understand how trauma impacts you and everything else and everybody else in your life. Your intuition, helps you understand how to get centered and really trust your gut when making healthy decisions for yourself throughout life. And, of course, all along we’ll be implementing the tools and strategies you learn to move forward with your transformation.

Did you know that there is a reason why the 4 pillars of our Stop Suffering Now journey all start with the letter “I”? Healing ourselves is an inside job – your healing starts with you. The word “I” is so important on your journey. 

And, one of the first things you can do to ensure you are focused on yourself is to start the practice of daily affirmations.   The word "affirmation" comes from the Latin word affirmare which means to make steady or strengthen. “I AM” affirmations will help us strengthen our resolve to believe in our goals as a reality.  This will help you unjumble your thoughts and declare your goals in a complete statement that will have a profound impact on your conscious and unconscious mind.

What will be your affirmation to help you Stop Suffering Now and cultivate self-awareness? (Example, I Am love.)

Take some time to determine the best affirmations for you. Then, use your “I Am” affirmation daily when you need help to ease feelings, such as stress or anxiousness.

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Let’s learn from each other. Share your positive affirmations in the comments below!

If you are ready to cultivate self-awareness every day of your life, then I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link:: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now.

© 2020 Janine Naus

How Well Do You Know Yourself?

No matter what your answer, know this: You need to know yourself.  

And, knowing your self comes when you make the decision to begin cultivating self-awareness. 

Cultivating self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of your character, feelings, motives, and desires. It’s your self-knowledge or introspection. It is a state of being present with your thoughts, feelings and emotions. It helps you bring clarity to your internal state.  It’s important to be self-aware in order to live a happy and joyful life.

When you are cultivating self-awareness, you are paying attention to all aspects of your life. In fact, you are becoming self-aware when you begin paying attention to: 

• What you are thinking. 

• What you are saying. 

• How you are feeling. 

• Your behavior and how you are acting. 

• How you are reacting. 

• What you are attracting into your life. 

• Who you are attracting into your life. 

Becoming self-aware will enable you to make better decisions. If you skip this vital step. You will be unable to experience the depths of joy, intimacy, authenticity, connection, peace and fulfillment that you want.  

Knowing yourself is crucial in your life. Regardless of where you come from or what you have been through. It is perhaps the only way to truly feel your inner self, know who you really are, and find a genuine sense of peace. Intrigued? Let’s take a look at some of the other benefits you can expect when you become more self-aware.

• You will find that you have a better understanding of your own needs, desires, and beliefs. 

• You will be more able to adapt to life changes that suit your needs.  

• You will better understand why you do the things you do.  

These benefits are worth the time and effort required to make this happen – especially if you are ready for a positive change in your life. 

Cultivating Self-Awareness is all about you developing the ability to look at yourself objectively – and without judgment. You will find the ability to pay attention to your inner world. And, your thoughts and emotions will become center stage. As I said, not in a judgmental way, but in a way that allows you to fully see yourself – for all that you are. This is often what is referred to as ‘being mindful’.

Taking a step in the right direction starts with learning new strategies. For instance, learning to respond rather than simply react. While it may sound difficult, it gets easier with practice and preparedness. Have some responses ready that can halt the conversation from going any further. This will keep a situation from escalating – or buy you some time to gather a proper response. Using phrases such as, “That doesn’t work for me,” or simply, “no,” is a wonderful place to start. If you feel you need more time, respond with, “I will need to get back to you on this.”

Having words ready for you at your disposal is a powerful strategy.

*****

We can learn from each other. Do you have some ideas of what you can do every day to cultivate self-awareness? Leave a comment below!

If you are ready to cultivate self-awareness every day of your life, then I have a program for you: my 3-Month Stop Suffering Now and Make Peace With Your Past starting now. To learn more, message me directly or if you prefer to get on my calendar here’s my link:: https://www.griefandtraumarelief.com/now.

© 2019 Janine Naus